"If it's not fun, why do it?"

Posts tagged ‘Depression’

Knitting Pride

Are you proud of your handwork?

I recently shared this essay on a Ravelry forum. I got some insights on how I tick. Pride, enjoyment, accomplishment, completion. Are these interchangeable?

Substitute your hobby, craft, or avocation with my word “knitting.” I will share later some of the responses and reactions to what I wrote. Meanwhile I just started purple baby hat #6.

* / * / * / *

Am I proud of my knitting/crocheting?

I finished a baby blanket/throw after starting it over 18 months ago just “for something to do” while waiting with Mom in the emergency room. I pieced it with some odd lots of unloved acrylic yarn left over after my sister died. I forgot about it for a while and recently completed it to get it out of the way.

Valentines Day Baby Blanket Massacre, © JustHavingFun

Valentines Day Baby Blanket Massacre, © JustHavingFun

I suffer from chronic depression and have a hard time starting things and following through. As a sign of trying to overcome this, I showed this item and a baby hat I just started to my therapist and she loved them! As an artist she complimented the color blocking. As a non-knitter, she marveled at the stitch work. She asked, “Are you proud?”

I didn’t feel proud. I just felt null. I mean:

  • I can knit–no biggie there.
  • I can follow a pattern or instructions how to make a stitch.
  • I can even improvise.
  • It was just some oddball yarn I didn’t love.
  • It wasn’t brain surgery.
  • I’m not keeping the thing for myself.

I haven’t made all that many projects that are complicated. Maybe that’s the factor that stimulates a bit more excitement/pride from me. Yeah, maybe I felt a bit proud when I finished my first socks, the first stranded pattern, or when I completed the mint-green vest that is too huge. They were more complex.

Purple baby hats #1 & #2. © JustHavingFun

But overall, I’m not too impressed with myself. These little baby hats are patterned on a basic stranded pattern, but I have no excitement about the yarn or the pattern. It just zips along quickly. People who see me knitting (doctor’s waiting room, waiting to pick up a prescription, etc.) ooh and aah, but I think that’s because they have never seen anyone knit, and I’m happy to describe what I’m doing.

So I asked my community on Ravelry to see if they have pride in their handwork… all of the time? Or do they just do it sometimes “for something to do”?

Purple baby hat #5, © JustHavingFun

I tend to see the imperfections but am trying to let that go because we humans are not perfect. I haven’t started a project with my beautiful Icelandic wool because I’m not sure my skills are good enough yet. Besides, I can’t decide on a pattern.

Proud? It’s something to aspire to.

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Advertisements
Video

Happiness is My Choice, 6

Jeremy Bennett is a man who suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression. He was able to retrain his thoughts and diminish the effects (he says he “beat it”) of his condition.  His message is clear: you mind does billions of things and you can control [some –ed.] of your thoughts. I ascribe to much of what he has to say. I learned greatly from Dr. Bernie Siegel, pediatric surgeon and author of The Art of Healing, and Love, Medicine & Miracles. He showed how the body’s healing mechanisms can be harnessed to healing–with cancer patients. Powerful stuff.

I’m not saying that positive thinking and harnessing your thoughts can vanquish serious diseases. Rather, I’m highlighting that much of the “Happiness is My Choice” outlook relies upon harnessing the power of our minds, training our thoughts to go in positive directions. I truly believe this activity can alleviate the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and even other life-threatening illnesses. This is wholly within the purview of traditional Jewish thought. It’s not spooky stuff. It’s part of a spiritual outlook. Living this way leads to health, or barring that, it leads to acceptance and handling of difficult situations.

Psalms 100:2 says: עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְהוָה בְּשִׂמְחָה; בֹּאוּ לְפָנָיו, בִּרְנָנָה (Serve G-d with gladness; come before Him with singing.)

Align our hearts with gladness and song. When we turn our thoughts toward the positive, we can choose to be happy. Ancient wisdom for today’s times.

This is a well-made video. I hope you enjoy it.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: